A LITTLE STORY FOR BATTERED WOMEN

Disclaimer: Everyone has to look at their own situation. What worked for me may not apply to you. But the number one issue I see is stop being a "VICTIM"

Don't even use the word because as long as you do, you'll wallow in self pity being a VICTIM. "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING, I'M A VICTIM"

Yes, I was in an abusive situation and no not nearly as bad as some of you have written about. But you, like me, leave and come back, leave and come back.

I finally packed up everything I could (looked like the Beverly Hillbillies going to LA)took the children and left. I called my dad who said "Go to your grandfather's" WHAT!!!!! I was devastated my dad was saying I can't go to his house. I don't want to go to my grandfather's, other than the city, I don't know where he lives! So I go back home.

Okay now what. I realize at this point I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'm a victim. Crap.

Okay. New mind set. Don't they keep telling us all you have to do is set your mind to something and it will happen? It's true.

I'm no longer a victim and I'm getting the fuck out of here. So every day, every minute is how to get out; and here's the hard part, STAY OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!Because of course that's up to me.

PLAN, PLAN, PLAN. Keep it to yourself, nobody can keep a secret. Go about your daily life with that one thought, GET OUT AND STAY OUT.

Don't think, I know he really loves me. Yes he does and even in DV classes they will say he loves you, really can't live without you, is actually unable to live without you. Never, let that enter your mind. GET OUT AND STAY OUT should be your only thought.

If you finally take responsibility for your life and your actions you may realize it's YOUR fault. You chose this guy. How long did you date? What signs did you overlook because YOU LOVE HIM. Come on. You, like me, should've known better.

When I said to myself, "it is all my fault" It was easier to act. I did this, I can undo it.

DON'T EVER CALL ME A VICTIM!!!!!!!!!!!

I left, so can you.

In fact I left, bought a house and have carried on beautifully, now that I'm no longer a victim. AND never entered a court room where you will be called and labeled a VICTIM.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (there are abused men out there, this goes for you too. So sorry I left you out, I sincerely apologize)that Temporary Restraining Order they're shoving down your throat? It has no magical powers! If your partner is violent and comes after you, don't wave it at him and say I have a TRO go away. It won't work. I need to research this: How many people with TROs have been murdered. HMMM. I did not waste energy on court. You have to stay the victim in court. And I'm not a VICTIM.

I'm just trying to tell you, you are responsible for you. No one else is. No one can help you, but you.


A little side note: You people who make claims of violence for revenge and control, only hurt woman really in need. This was supposed to be a "little" story. I'll talk about how I feel about this issue later.

GET OUT AND STAY OUT